Hello Reptile Entrepreneurs! It is meditation Thursday where we talk about whatever comes to mind. And I did not want to go exercise this morning. But, you know, I did anyways. Why? Because I have goals! That is nothing special. Everyone has goals! But entrepreneurs have a habit of becoming focused on building the business. The grind. The hustle. The glorification of an unwavering devotion to that success. And I was thinking about perspective.

And why is this important? Because when you are starting a business you are pushed to the limits. And you need to keep a hold on perspective or you may end up with what you worked for, but not what you really want. And, what I mean by that is that when you start a side business there is no end to the time it will suck away from you. And there are consequences to that. It is an endless black hole that days, weeks, months, and years will simply disappear within. The question is, where will you find yourself if you make it happen? Isn’t that what this is all about? Making it happen? So why the shade thrown at getting up at 4AM, working until nightfall, and building what you want?

Something’s not right…

A little over a year ago I took a look at myself and wasn’t happy with what I saw. And I mean a literal look in a literal mirror. Ten years of pushing had taken their toll. There was the MBA program and then there was the side businesses. All while holding down a full time+ job. I was one of those salaried employees where an eight hour work day is minimum so everything I did beyond that was in the margins. Any business…customer service…marketing…podcasting…time with my wife…time with my kids…exercising…taking the time to eat right…going for the annual physical… wait, did I mention sleep in there? Not sure where that fits in…yep, just stuff that all into the margins of my day. So, how do we make sure it all gets done? You all know the answer…we don’t. We push things around, try to get to them, take it to the deadline. And the things that get done first are the things that scream the loudest or have immediate negative consequences. And that is how you end up, ten years later out of breath just by walking up the stairs, with a gaunt look, expanding waistline, kids who know you by how you enforce the house rules, and a spouse who can’t remember the last time they felt special.

Did I touch some nerves there? Well, believe me when I say I am not talking from any pedestal with that list. We all make different decisions with the hours available to us. And if you have a wholesome sparkling diet on a fit body that graces your Instagram feed with pictures of you and your family on vacations together paid by your four hour work week then I admire you and do not begrudge you your success. You are the goal!

But, I can’t say that about myself. I developed a wicked addiction to Cola Rockstars going through my MBA program to stay awake during work hours. I would literally fall asleep during staff meetings and I knew things had to change. Yvette, my wife who has been by my side through all of this, sometimes is trying to keep up and sometimes is the only thing that keeps me standing. She loves the story of us sitting in bed and me doing my homework. Sometimes thoughts are better done on paper and before bed I rather write with pen and paper. So she watched as I was writing my paragraph and slowly fell asleep. Just that light sleep. Where you don’t know you fell asleep. So I thought I was still awake and kept writing. Well, I kept writing letters, but forgot to tell my hand to move so I had a couple sentences with all the letters written on top of each other.

So, yeah, I was barely making it through. Right after that I started Dragon Strand which quickly filled in the margins left by the MBA program. I was achieving my goals, but something wasn’t right.

The Empty Trophy

And how many of you that tenaciously raced to that end goal and actually achieved it looked around and felt like it was an empty trophy? Sure, you now have more money. But your body feels like it could fall apart at any random moment, your spouse is a stranger, and your kids are now out of the house. Was this actually the end goal? Was being able to buy that car truly the pinnacle of your life? I am going to suggest that, if you are building a side business right now that you re-evaluate whether the goals you set and are working towards are truly complete. Absolutely have those financial goals. Excellent ones are that the breeding project pays for itself. Or that the side business is profitable enough to pay for the mortgage. Or that you will be able to leave your job in three years to do your reptile business full time. Having those goals is the way that you will achieve them. So keep those. We are very good at making financial goals. What I’d like you to give thought to is to have goals for your health and family, as well. Make them actionable and achievable.

My end goal is to have my reptile ventures cover my complete financial needs, but my vision for that point where I am financially comfortable includes Yvette by my side, smiling, and content. I want us to look back at what we went through to get to this point and share memories. I want to be able to make plans for the future together and go forward together. I want her to feel lucky that, in her 50s, she is standing next to a guy that is easy on the eyes and still feels that spark at her core. Does that sound superficial? A touch of vanity? Yeah, maybe. But I am her one man. This is it for her for the rest of her life. The best thing I can do for the woman I love is to take care of myself in a way that excites her soul. While, yes, being financially success is part of that package, it is only a part of what I want to create for my and her future together. And I will trade some of that financial success for personal health and a deep loving relationship with Yvette.  Everyone’s ideal future will be different. Your’s does not have to have defined biceps to distract your wife when you walk by. But make sure the goals you are working towards are the complete package of what you want to create.  And the reason why this is more than flowery words and idealistic dribble is because if you want more than just a profitable business at the end of your journey you need to make time for everything else right now. Me saying I want to be not only healthy, but attractive has real world consequences as far as time. That means daily exercise. It means time to eat right. We all know how easy it is to eat poorly when you are rushing around just trying to pack as much productivity as you can in one day. For me, this decision is significant. It means a boot camp membership and two hours a day to use it. Oh, I know I don’t have to go anywhere or pay anything. I could do it all at home. All it takes is self-discipline! And to that I say, no I can’t. Sure, it sounds good when I say that is what I am going to do. But I have an entire decade of history with that on my to-do list and I have an entire history of failing to do it. I have about 30 two week runs spread over ten years. Finally, last year, with my waistline ballooning I put my foot down and said no more. I signed up at a bootcamp and committed to doing it every day. No questions. That is just what I do whether I want to or not. It is now part of my job. And I finally, after a decade of sliding backwards, started seeing results. And now I know that is what it takes for me to achieve that goal. And I am not going to second guess it. And I am not going to push myself to have more self-discipline. I am already over my quota for things I need my mental faculties for. I am under constant content creation, order processing, trying to keep the supply chains running, podcast recording, attempting to get myself in a YouTube routine (which is failing miserably), and I know that if I don’t have that membership and a place where I am accountable to other people that it will simply not happen. That is me. If you are able to pull it off then you are lucky and that is one of your advantages that you bring to your table. We all have to figure out what works for us.

The “This is only for a short amount of time” fallacy

And I’d like to address the “This is only for a short amount of time” fallacy. You know, where you say working all hours and weekends is only for a short amount of time. I’ll skip the gym for just one month while I get the website up. I know I am not spending time with the kids because I am working all weekend every weekend in the garage making tortoise hides. It will only be until I have built up enough inventory for the big black Friday sale. I am going to throw a red flag on the field. That one month will quickly become two years until it is all you know. And all your family knows. Because once you launch that website or podcast or YouTube channel, then the race is on to grow and market and keep up with the expectation of a constant flow of new material. I know. I have lived it. I AM living it! And it is a daily struggle. My brain works better when I am snacking. So healthy diet is the hardest for me. As soon as I have only building my business as my job, and not health, the excuses to skip boot camp and just pick up what snacks are easiest will take over. If physical fitness is not a specific line item on my end goal sheet then building my business will happily suck up those two to three hours a day. If spending time with my daughter takes a back seat then that hour I spend with her watching She-ra on Netflix will turn into writing website copy. So I purposefully spend four to five hours a day on things other than growing my business or working. That is so, when I have the business up and running and is the success I am working towards, I can share that new life with my wife and kids. Because it being twice the financial success I need isn’t enough to fill my life if my daughter has long ago grown out of snuggling up on the couch watching cartoons and I have to get re-acquainted with my wife, assuming she is still there. My son is out of the house. Sure, we communicate and are part of each other’s life and we share excitement for his new adventures. But there is no going back for missed opportunities.

Your side business will absolutely expand to fill the space you allow it. Yes, it is the new baby and needs a lot of attention. But, be mindful of diminishing returns. The first 30 minutes on social media gets most if not all your work done. When you find yourself there two hours later it is very easy to say you are doing marketing, but are you really? I mean, if you are hosting a Q&A session over an Instagram story then, yeah, you are in direct relationship building. If you are arguing with that one person about whether leopard geckos need UVB for the fourth time then you have slipped into the social media zone where time disappears. Cap what you can.

Conclusion

So, when I end each podcast episode and I encourage you to take care of yourself, know that it has deep meaning. I have been doing this for a while and have learned some lessons. Every word here is deliberate. So, please, be serious about taking care of yourself. Incubating a side business that can free you from a life you do not like and allow you to enjoy your work is taking care of yourself. Spending time every day keeping your body strong is taking care of yourself. And making sure that each of your family members feels that you love them and is bonded to you is taking care of yourself.

I acknowledge the irony of producing a podcast that is dedicated to making your business profitable spending so much time downplaying the attention to money. The truth is that I do this because we already have a strong sense of the importance of money. It is easy to see the difference between a life without financial security and one with financial security. We are right to dedicate a healthy amount of time to establish our income streams. But money just facilitates our life and happiness. Happiness comes from other places. I will be very proud to have any of you contact me and let me know how I inspired you to build a side business. And if it allowed you to leave a job you didn’t like it will be even better. Though, I would be sad if you achieved that enviable goal, but weren’t happy because of what you inadvertently sacrificed to get there. Keep in mind that our goal is happiness. Not money. Money is a component. But you need all the other things. It is like wanting to make a cupcake and going out and just buying flour. Yeah, you need flour for what you are doing, but that is not the cupcake experience you are looking for!

And, that is on my mind right now because I am looking for the perfect coconut cupcake recipe. This may conflict with my fitness goals, but scores major points with my daughter. You know, life is a lot of give and take. So, I do have an end goal for what I am doing within the reptile community. But here is my secret, the business, financial, and physical goals are the only things I am working towards. I make sure I live my relationship goals every day. That is how I make sure the source of my happiness never slips away. Because I have seen it happen so many times around me. And if I, or any of us, are not careful it can happen to us. And there is only one thing we say to the death of our happiness. Not Today

Thank you for joining me here. I think next week will be a good time to go on and talk about what it means to take care of our reptile community. And maybe one way I can make the world a better place is by sharing the best coconut cupcake recipe I can find. It is a humble mission but one I take seriously! Because somebody has to.

Take care of yourself, take care of our reptile community, and let’s see what we can build.